


we all fight our own private wars

by orphan_account



Series: the quiznacking saga [1]
Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Fusion, Character Study, Introspection, M/M, Movie: Star Wars: A New Hope, Slow Build, Space Battles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 08:36:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17556989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Flying is a truth for Shiro. Twenty years on Tatooine is also a truth. But with the controls in his hands, and blaster fire in his ears, he does not yield. He does not falter. He flies.





	we all fight our own private wars

**Author's Note:**

> Yep. 
> 
> Another crossover. I'm not even surprised at this point. But, this one is interesting because it came out of a random convo in gym class with one of my friends. So more interesting backstory? Haha no. Anyway, the general idea of this fic came after reading tell me about the big bang by thebrotherswinchester which made me think of making an AU for Voltron. I was originally going to start with the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, but then I came up with all the original characters and I was like "Welp, might as well go somewhat chronologically." I probably am going to write the Sequel Trilogy too. If you're wondering why some of the Voltron characters aren't in here - fear not! I have their stories planned as well in future installments (hopefully hehe). Also, I am super sorry for any inaccuracies in terms of plot. 
> 
> Thank you again for reading this fic and sticking through my crossovery madness! 
> 
> Title by the way, is from Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz.

_a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away..._

  
  


The suns always crackle across the horizon of Tatooine, like a melted cavern of light - for a brief moment, there is a hesitation in how they travel to the center of the sky. They are a certainty - the life that Shiro has lived for twenty years is just that - an unchanging certainty. If you were to ask him if he had dreams beyond crackling desert soil, he might pause. Then, he’d say he’d love, at least once, to fly in space.

 Flying for him - is mixed with a throb of _want_ , with something going _fuck, i’ll probably die or do something dumb,_ only balanced out by the thought of the breath being sucked out of his lungs and the solidity of his hands on the controls. It’s also probably never going to happen, at least not outside Tatooine - at some point or another, he’d come to that idea. Shiro is okay with that. _Obasan_ and _Ojisan_ needed help around the water farm, and he wasn't making himself useful by wondering about twilight skies. So, he is okay with that. He is fine. Takashi Shirogane is just fine.

 

  _(he was lying, and adam had always said he could tell.)_

 

* * *

 

 

  
It is only because of VLT-D2  that he got into any of this. The robot had chirped annoyingly until Ojisan had said Shiro should take a look at it, only for the droid to emit a pale image. SLAV was already getting on his nerves by shouting random facts about the probability of ending up on such a backwater planet. Shiro had blinked at the fuzzy, grainy image, for a few seconds, before rolling his eyes at the droid. Then the little multicolored droid had squeaked in annoyance, before the image began to move.

 It was a girl - clothed in something white, her head hooded, with a voice that was low, firm, and absolute.

  _“Help me, Arus. You’re my only hope.”_

 Old Arus was a man that lived in a little house cradled by the edge of the horizon. He’d kept mostly to himself, but people had alleged he’d been someone important in the Old Republic. The whispers carried the melody of the Jedi, wielders of power and reality - things that Shiro’s _obasan_ had clucked her tongue at and insisted at Shiro’s unapologetically moony face was just an old space tale.

She was wrong, Shiro thinks, sitting in his hut later that day.

 The message is replayed, and Arus sits impassively as the girl introduces herself as the Princess Allura Astraea of Altea (which Shiro had gaped at), and talks about how her father had fought alongside him in the wars. Then-

 “She has Empire plans?! And what the kriff is a _Death Star?!_ ” Shiro turns, eyes wide, and heart skipping in the way it always did when it was mentioned. The Empire lingered in the back of everyone’s mind, like a cloud of turmoil and violence that teemed unhelpfully, viciously, horribly -

 Arus’ wrinkles around his eyes deepen even further. “It is a weapon - that none in the galaxy have seen. A massive threat. For this, I shall meet her at Altea,” he says, then his eyes, bright jellyfish blue, maybe the color of the ocean during sunrise - something Shiro has never seen before, study him intently. They seem to decide something, because the older man shifts, and when he turns again, there is something in his hand. He holds it out for Shiro - and Shiro’s hand, for a moment hovers above it.

 Taking the handle leaves a thrumming in his palm, like being under the hot suns all day- but it feels like a pulse - like the whole galaxy’s pulse is shooting up into his shoulder, and rewiring his head. He flicks it on, and a pulsing line of violet fills the space - a curious, otherworldly shade of amethyst that he has only dreamed of seeing. Shiro turns it off, rolls around the handle in his hand, and blinks at Arus. “What is this?”

 There is something deep and cracked and musty in the older man’s eyes, like an encyclopedia of memories covered in thick layers of dust.

 “A lightsaber. An elegant weapon of a more civilized age, I suppose. It belonged to a Jedi, Takashi.” he says, voice rough, and something in Shiro’s chest bottoms up and flips around all at once. He always calls Shiro _Takashi_ \- even though the name rumbles inside of him like a past he can't remember.

 Arus explains the Jedi, and it is everything and nothing like Shiro has ever heard. They were warriors - but warriors of peace and balance - knights that countered the dark, took the Force, an energy that all living things have, until- until-

 “Lord Zarkon turned to the dark,” Arus says, and his eyes bleed into a midnight blue of the farthest of skies. “And now the Jedi are all but gone.”

 The thrumming suddenly comes back crashing into the stories that Arus has told him, weaved with tales of the Jedi and the Force, and _fuck-_ it can't be-

 “You can learn the ways of the Force, as well, young Takashi,” Arus’ eyes implore him, and there is a twinge that says that it is freedom, it is right kriffing _here -_

 “Would you like to come with me to Altea?”

 

_(the thing is - shiro equates flying not to freedom - but to something else -_

_like reflection or discovery, or a better truth -_

  _and his truth has only ever been on tatooine, so this is what happens. he says no. he heads back to the farm only for the iron stench of burning to reach him first, and he knows - even before the smoke curls up and blackens the air, even before he sees the  mangled bodies, even before-_

  _and there is something in him that screams and bleeds, nothing like before, something that says_ ** _no,_** _and he rides right back to arus, with a flickering beat and a new thought-_

  _“i want to learn the ways of the jedi-” )_

  
  
Adam Wadekar is exactly an inch shorter than him, has a cut that swipes at the curve of his jaw, incredible kriffing perception _(apparently non Force sensitive)_ , insane piloting skills _(twelve parsecs, you know),_ a vocabulary laden with every curse in the galaxy, a co-pilot that seemed to see through everything, and probably the deepest brown eyes that Shiro has ever seen.

 The last part is not relevant.

 Because Adam is also a little bit of an ass. But just a little bit.

 

_(a wide grin, sparkling eyes, the taste of sharp alcohol under his tongue, asking for a ship to altea, and adam’s cocking his head and asking why, and his heart thuds and thuds and thuds - )_

  _(they look like the edges of desert dust hid from the sun, or the hidden secrets of a cavern - or some sappy shit like that- )_

 

Even though this is (mostly) true, said co-pilot - an alien that went by Ermie, is staring at him with the most knowing look on her face. She doesn't talk much  - at all, but apparently has a damn sharp eye - which Adam had muttered under his under his breath as he navigated them through hyperspace, cursing as SLAV fusses about the probabilities of them intercepting the Empire.

 “I find it troubling that the probability of interacting with Imperial spacecraft is 0.0007%-”

 “Oh, shut the fuck up,” Adam says, almost nonchalantly, eyes scanning the wide expanse outside the window. VLT-D2 chirps happily by Shiro’s side as he dodges the little seeker lasers with the purple glow of the lightsaber alighting his helmet. He grins - up until one laser beam zig zags around him and snaps into his helmet, dully smacking against his head. He takes it off and rubs the spot, and notices that Arus is  meditating serenely next to him, without any sort of care in the world. At some point, Adam has come next to him, snickering, and Shiro whips around.

 “I don’t get why you believe in this Force hokey crap,” he says, a single eyebrow arched over his glasses. Shiro fiddles with the lightsaber in his hand, and forces himself to look at him - his eyes are a dark, deep, sharp brown - like a rock that has been eroded away.

 “Nothing’s a match for a good blaster on your side. It's just luck, anyway.” There is something that burns into Shiro’s wrists when he says that - something reminiscent of the thrumming that had happened when he had first touched the lightsaber, something that had whispered a sense of … whatever it was,  in him. He wishes he could take the feeling - make it real for Adam, use all the words he knows, use it to make this man that makes Shiro’s heart skip understand.

 Arus’ voice creeps in, quietly amused at him. “In my experience, there's no such thing as luck.” Adam rolls his eyes at him, but there is the smallest quirk of his lips at it.

 “Sure. I'm not judging.”

 He walks back to the cockpit, leaving Shiro alone with SLAV _(ugh),_ VLT-D2, and Arus. The seeker is still hovering above him, and Old Arus says, “ _Focus,_ Takashi. Stretch out with your feelings.”

 Before he can close his eyes, someone laughs, and it's only when Adam talks that Shiro realizes that it’s him - and then he yells from the cockpit. “Your name’s _Takashi?_ Is Shiro, like a nickname?”

 Shiro’s cheeks are probably freaking red, or something equally embarrassing, because all he says is _yes._

 But what Adam says next almost makes him go stock still. “It's pretty awesome, you know. You mind if I call you that?”

 And it doesn't make sense, because it's _obviously_ meant to be a joke, and he's only known Adam for all of six hours. It doesn't make any kriffing sense, and yet- Shiro croaks out a “No.” The word cracks in the middle like a sharp mirror slice, and his hands tremble with the lightsaber -he deactivates the thing before he slices off his foot or something.

 But he closes his eyes, puts on the helmet, and almost can visualize the seeker, until -

 Arus audibly gasps, and Shiro tears off the helmet, looks at him. “What happened?”

 The older man’s eyes are haunted and almost terrified - like they have seen the end of something insurmountable. “I felt a great disturbance in the Force… as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were silenced.” His electric blue eyes go sharp with recognition. “I fear something terrible has happened.”

 

It’s only a while later that Shiro understands what he means.  

 Adam yells - “We’re here, but I don't see anything!” Shiro scrambles up to the cockpit, latching a hand on the back of Ermie’s chair.

 “What do you mean,” he asks, feeling his eyebrows furrow. “Isn't Altea supposed to be here?” Adam cranes around to look at him - and his eyes are burning with something not cocky, not self assured -

 “No,” he says vehemently, surely. “Takashi, it's not fucking here. And I know we put in the right coordinates, so-” he cuts himself off, bites his lip, and looks back toward the horizon of nothing but asteroids, dangerously hurtling past them.

 There isn’t anything there. “Where is it?” Shiro asks.

 Arus informs them only later that the Empire has done something - something terrible, and Shiro is suddenly reminded by the haunted look in his eyes and his chest skips a single beat. Ermie suddenly jerks and motions for Adam to look at something, and when he does, a stream of increasingly dirty curses comes out of his mouth. “There’s a fighter coming - it’s Imperial, I think- but-”

 He fixes his glasses again and his voice is low when he talks. “They’re heading to that small moon over there.” Adam points at something spherical across the horizon, something grayish and resembling a smallish planet - a moon. Arus, at some point has ended up in the cockpit as well, and he says, almost haunted again. “That’s no moon. It’s a space station.”

 It is almost too ridiculous to be true - the moon- space station is so _enormous-_ Adam voices these thoughts only a moment later and  orders Ermie to pull them back, and she hums lowly in response, before pulling back on the controls. But-

 “Fuck- we’re still getting pulled in,” Adam says, and his voice has dipped for the first time, into panic. “Must be the tractor beam or something.”

 Shiro wants to ask if he has another idea- if he has a plan, but Adam’s eyes tell the whole story, resigned and angry and tired. Arus lays a hand on his shoulder in reassurance, maybe - and Shiro fiercely thinks about the Force - what use is it, if he can’t even use it to save anybody? Can’t even use it to stop them from getting captured?

 He looks, as the space station looms closer and closer, and SLAV says, almost matter of factly, “I have an increasingly bad feeling about this.” VLT-D2 chirps in response, and Shiro can’t help the bitter reply in his head - _that’s for sure._

  


The _Castle Ship_ is caught in the Imperial landing bay of the large station, and Adam gets them all under the hallway compartments that he apparently uses for - _stuff you don’t need to worry about_ . The _clunk-clunk_ of the stormtroopers’ feet echo above them, right in time with Shiro’s heart, and he only pops open the lid of the hallway compartment when there are no more echoes.

 He climbs up, and gets himself upright, glancing around for any sign of them. “That was close,” he says, holding a hand up for Adam, who takes it. His hand is calloused and warm in his, and something in Shiro’s arm tingles.

 “Now what?” Adam asks. “I mean, good on us for escaping those bucketheads, but as long as we’re stuck in the tractor-beam, there’s no way I can fly us out.”

 Shiro thinks for a moment or two - he’s right. Then, the voices coming from the open door float up to his ear, and something comes up in his head - it’s ridiculous, and stupid, but-

 -it might just work.

 He turns to Adam, grins widely. “I think I have an idea.”

  


Surprisingly - because most of Shiro’s ideas aren’t great ones - Ermie has managed to fend off the oncoming stormtroopers for long enough _(she was kind of scary)_ and VLT-D2 and SLAV have found the Imperial computer that networked into most of the other security systems. The little droid whistles wildly at the set of controls, only going on when Arus says, low, “The droid can punch you in.”

 VLT-D2 extends a robotic arm from one of its compartments to punch into an outlet. It hums for a moment or two, up until it starts beeping and whistling again. Adam shrugs off his blaster and rolls his eyes. “Not all of us can understand droid-speak, you know.”

 SLAV immediately translates at rapid-fire speed. “She says the tractor beam is coupled to the  main reactor in seven locations. A power loss at one of the terminals will allow the ship to leave.”

 Over Adam’s exclamation _“She?”_ Arus says, almost gravely, studying the holographic layout of the Imperial security networks. He turns to Shiro, his eyes regretful - and suddenly much older- as if they had seen the end of times. “I fear I must go alone, young Takashi. This is where we separate.”

 Something roils up in Shiro’s gut, something that remembers mangled bodies and gunfire, and the awful stench of burning flesh, and he says, adamantly. “No. I’m coming with you.” Arus only shakes his head, and again, lays a hand on Shiro’s shoulder. His eyes have bled into that shade of midnight blue again - dark and determined, like they could pierce through an entire star system.

 “You must deliver the droids safely to the base of the Rebellion. It is the only way to ensure that the galaxy is safe from the fate of Altea… and the Empire.”

 Shiro’s head jolts up at that - but he can’t find anything to refute it. He only nods - surely, and Arus’ mouth turns up into the skeleton of a smile. “May the Force be with you, Takashi.” he says, and then he is walking away, lightsaber handle adjusted on his robes. Shiro looks after him, and wonders if it is the last time he will see the older man. VLT-D2’s beeping again, and Adam is muttering something that suspiciously sounds like _we’re going to get caught-_ and Shiro turns to SLAV and sighs.

 “What now?” he says, suddenly tired. SLAV adjusts himself, and translates again, sounding as exasperated as a droid can be.  “I’m not quite sure. She keeps saying that she’s found _her?”_

 Adam walks over and his eyes are star-bright. “Who is _her_ exactly supposed to be?”

 The next words, Shiro will realize years and years later, will change the trajectory of their lives - will throw them headfirst into a war and the possibility of death at every single corner. But at this juncture, he is still curious.

 SLAV answers. “It’s Princess Allura.”

 

_(it doesn’t take that much convincing to get adam to help him, not after slav says that’s she’s going to be dead in three hours anyway. something in shiro’s heart wrenches for her - even though he’s never met her._

  _they evade the stormtroopers with ermie as a fake prisoner, and manage to find the detention block where the princess is being held. there is a beat in shiro’s head, that same thud-thud in his heart, but now it’s accompanied with screaming blast-fire and robotic voices - adam promises to hold off the oncoming horde of troopers, but there is something odd in his voice - like - like -_

  _there is the thud- thud again.)_

 

Shiro has blasted open the security lock, and the doors slide open in response. There is she - the girl from the holo- the princess herself, sitting with her legs hanging over the bench. Her posture is strong, and her nebula-white hair is coiled into two elaborate buns, accented by a gold circlet. She sits up at his entrance, rubbing her eyes, and faces him - unafraid, posed for anything. Her eyes are familiar - turquoise and bright and kaleidoscopic, but before Shiro can say anything she asks, voice clipped-

 “You’re not a stormtrooper, are you?”

 Shiro looks at her in confusion for two seconds, then shrugs off the heavy trooper helmet, breathing in the metallic air of the cell. She looks at him, and a sense of comprehension dawns on her face.

 “How’d you know?” he asks. The princess eyes him steadily, then answers. There is trace of wryness in her answer, like the bitter end of caf.

 “You’re far too tall, for one.” She crosses her arms, looks at him, and it is only now that Shiro realizes the red tinge in her eyes - almost as if she had been crying. She is waiting for him to make the first move - he realizes - so she can strike.  

 “I’m Takashi Shirogane,” he says. “I’m here to rescue you.”

 Her eyes narrow at that, and her mouth twists. “I certainly don’t need your help to do that, now that you’ve blasted open the lock.”

 Shiro sighs -  she is right, most likely. “I’ve also got your VLT unit,” he continues. “And Arus. Like in your holo-message?” Her face suddenly changes, and for the first time, her voice is unsure.

 “You’ve - you found my holo? And you’ve got Arus?”

 She stands up, expectant, and Shiro nods.

“Yeah,” he notes, and there is the barest hint of a grin on her face - and something like hope trickles in his mind. “Let’s get out of here.”

  


They end up in a garbage compactor. A fucking garbage compactor. Which is slowly compressing them into tiny, tiny pieces of Imperial trash.

 So much for hope.

 “Good job, your highness,” Adam whisper- snarks, and the princess rolls her eyes, then turns to Shiro. Shiro hears her unspoken question, then taps into his comlink, praying to whatever deity and possibly also the Force that it still works.

 “SLAV,” he asks. “SLAV, can you hear me?”

 The droid’s voice crackles back, sounding way too panicked. “Um- we seem to having a bit of trouble-”

 Adam rolls his eyes yet again, after hearing the sound, and Shiro sighs, before tapping into his comlink. “Listen. Can you get VLT to shut down the garbage mashers on this detention level?”

 There is a crackling for a second, then SLAV’s voice crackles back, slightly less panicked. “I can try.” The compactors come closer and closer, and Adam is muttering again, something like _great i’m gonna fucking die cause i decided to save a princess_ \- and  the princess, for once, swats him lightly on the arm. Adam snarks back, even though his voice is testy over the sound of the compactors coming closer - closer- close - “Violence _really_ isn’t the best tactic, your Worshipfulness.”

 She snaps back. “ _I_ can’t even believe you managed to survive this long.” Adam’s eyes dangerously twinkle in the dark of the compactor-

 “Oh _I’ll_ tell you-”

 The compactor shuts off with a thrumming jolt, which silences them all. Shiro can’t help but grin, even though SLAV is frantically shouting statistics about how they are already dead -

 Shiro turns about looking for an exit of sorts, trying to block out the whooping and cheering from his companions. They need to leave. They need to escape before the fucking stormtroopers find them again - with the plans for this giant ship so that the Rebellion can have a chance.

 The Rebellion. Is he part of that now?

 His hand finds a button, and when he pushes it, it opens up. There’s a dark, musty hallway that holds the same metallic smell as before. He gestures to the others, as a strange feeling of _something_ climbs into his chest - something that he hasn’t ever felt before.

 “Come on,” he says, and his world is enveloped in darkness.

  


They make it back to the ship - well, more accurately, they escape while getting blasted by stormtroopers who have suddenly been deployed on their asses. Adam has the brilliant idea to split up and take out more stormtroopers while he forces Ermie to take Shiro and Allura back - though the sound of blaster fire tells them all otherwise. Shiro’s heart is thudding hard against his ribs, and the princess’ grip is iron on his forearm as they split up yet again.

 Ermie has followed Adam - _adam, adam, stupid adam_ \- and he and the princess have evaded troopers at every turn. They are everywhere - like a spreading organism, but miraculously - or maybe not - he and the princess manage to blast their way through. At some point, he and Allura swing over a ravine, and for one heart stopping moment, Shiro wonders - _is this what flying is like?_

 At some point, they all meet up at the docking bay where the _Castle Ship_ is, even the droids, who are making their way over, and for one moment, Shiro thinks - _it’s all going to be okay-_

 And then he sees Arus -

And Lord Zarkon.

Lord Zarkon is clothed in crimson armor, with a cape fastened over his looming figure - and his face - his face is streaked with a scar that cuts under what Shiro thinks is a mouth - and he radiates, oozes-

 

_smoke and death and they’re dead and i’m alone and deathdeathdeathdeath and galaxies collapsing and planets exploding and dark dark dark - so much_

 

And their lightsabers are conjoined in a dance - red and bright white - like some strange combination of light and dark, death and life, slowly battling, as if they are waiting for the other to yield.

 “Wait!” Shiro yells. _“Wait!”_

 And Arus looks back - and there is that strange sense, that he’s seen those eyes before - and then -

 Somehow Shiro knows what is going to happen before it does - and his mouth forms the words, but it is noiseless, up until-

 Arus yields.

 And Lord Zarkon slices bright scarlet red, and he falls - but there is nothing there - nothing but a cloak, but Shiro screams anyway. **_“No!”_**

 “Come on, Takashi!” Adam yells over the oncoming blastfire, the smell of singed  flesh that lingers in the air. The stormtroopers are coming, and everyone else is running back toward the ship. Shiro blasts one, two, three times, his stomach coiling at seeing the troopers crumple and fall onto themselves. Someone takes his hand - a hand not much bigger than his own, drags him toward the ship.

 Shiro wants to scream again, but then they are flying away, and he is back in the ship - and Allura’s eyes are apologetic and warm, and she says _i’m sorry_ -

And Shiro mourns again.  

 

_(there isn't much time to even do that. as soon as they're in open space, tie fighters fly after them,  piercing the dark with scarlet red. ermie handles the controls, her violet eyes dark and focused- adam runs to the blasters -_

  _there are too many of them - and ermie gives him a look- and for a second shiro can't breathe - because she had seen in him - known who he was and what he could do -_

_‘help adam,’ he says,  and his voice does not shake. she trusts him. she gives him the controls. he looks down and his breath is gone and for a moment he is unsure what to do- and then the feeling of nothing and everything all at once crashes in-_

  _and shiro maneuvers- not letting his eyes go astray - he flies in space and his head is filled with nothing but a strong beat and the whine of blaster fire - but he does not yield. he does not falter._

  _he flies.)_

  


At some point, when Allura has told them where they should go - the fourth moon of Olkarion, and Shiro's head clears, he makes his way into the cockpit to sit next to Adam. He’d passed Allura, who’d stormed out, muttering fiercely under her breath - _damn scoundrel -_ and wondered what she could be so angry  about.

 “Hey,” he says to Adam, who is focusing his attention on piloting the ship.

 “Hey yourself,” Adam says, turning, his eyes twinkling a little bit. Something in Shiro’s stomach  curdles a little bit, and he focuses his attention outside the ship, at the vast array of twinkling stars.

 They sit there a little while, content with the rock of the ship as it flies toward their destination.

 “You didn't tell me you could fly,” Adam says, breaking the silence. He does not meet Shiro's eyes. The adrenaline rushes in Shiro's body again - like he can hear Adam’s voice over the comms as they fly their way from a barrage of TIE Fighters. Shiro doesn't look at him either. He looks at his boots and bites his lip, feeling the blood slip in his mouth.

 “Yeah - uh. I flew a lot on Tatooine.”  He doesn't know if he should tell Adam about the rush of feeling that happened whenever he thought of piercing the stars - space, the sky - _flying._ It's way too much like the thoughts that happens whenever he looks at Adam - his eyes.  

 It feels like his heart has grown too big with - whatever the hell this is. He can’t put a name to it - maybe he just doesn't want to, because doing that would make it _real_.

 “You're good, you know,” Adam says, nonchalantly, and it is so devoid of any sort of cockiness that Shiro jerks in surprise.

 “...thanks,” he says and watches Adam pilot the ship, gently, almost delicately, with all the care he has.

 “She’s not what I expected,” Adam says, still not looking at Shiro. “She’s kind of insane.”

 “Do you mean the princess?” Shiro asks, stupidly, even though there is literally nobody else he could be talking about.

 Adam grins at him, teeth white against his dark skin, and his face glows under the starlight. “I mean - she’s crazy - but not in a fucking awful way. I don’t know.”

 He turns again to the stars. “What do you think? Her and me?”

 Something in Shiro’s stomach drops and flips, and his mind is beating again, with that same rhythm as it had been on the Death Star, and he wants to say _nope, nope, nope,_ but all that comes out of his mouth is, “You two argue a lot.”

 Adam shrugs. “True, Takashi. Very true.”

 Shiro wonders what would happen if he told an inkling about the stupid feelings in his gut- making him think really stupid things, making that same thrumming erupt in his wrists, like when he had first held that lightsaber in his hand. But there is no one to tell. Not anymore.

  


When they arrive on the base on Olkaria IV, the first person that comes toward their ship is a ginger haired haired man with a thick mustache and an even thicker accent than Allura. He’s yelling for the princess, who immediately darts down the ramp. Allura presses a hand to her mouth in recognition, before running toward the man as well.

  _“Coran!”_ she calls, her words edging on a sob, and the two of them embrace in the middle of the base landing, like they have known each other for years and years. And it turns out they have.

 There is something melancholy and slightly envious that slips into Shiro’s head - something that whispers that he’ll never have that again.

 Coran is Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe - the chief advisor on the planet Altea - or former planet, Shiro thinks sadly. He’d been offworld at the time of the planet’s destruction, but had only received the news of Allura’s capture after the fact. He and Allura are the only Alteans left.

 Coran and Allura bring them to a war briefing room - where the whole of the Death Star has been rendered electronically. A young woman with the same amethyst skin as Zarkon - chills run up Shiro’s spine - introduces herself as Krolia, and explains their predicament.

 “The battle station is heavily shielded and carries a firepower greater than half the star fleet. Its defenses  are designed around a direct large-scale assault. A small one-man fighter should be able to penetrate the outer defense.” She points out a small port in the Death Star plans that they have, which draws Shiro’s attention.

 “We have a single advantage,” she says. “There’s a possibility that we could land a precise hit on the reactor system through this port and trench. The chain reaction from it could destroy the entire station. But it’s ray shielded, so you’ll need to use proton torpedoes.”

 The whole room has already erupted into noise, with voices layering each other. Then a single one cuts through. It’s young, and Shiro realizes it comes from the boy sitting next to him. He can’t be older than sixteen or seventeen, and has oval glasses and auburn-blond hair that curls around his face.

“Er, General?” He says, fixes his glasses. “You’re saying that only this one port is gonna kill the Death Star? And we only get one shot?”

 Krolia looks at the young boy for a moment, and her voice is old - the same old, Shiro realizes that came from Arus - the old that came from seeing the unseeable.

 “Yes, Holt. You’re right.” She turns to the rest of the crowd, and her posture is strong - like Allura’s back on the Death Star. “But that does not mean we will surrender so easily. Man your ships, pilots.” She pauses, as if she is deciding whether to talk or not.

 When she does, her tone is wistful and her eyes almost hopeful.

 “And may the Force be with you all.”

  


Adam is leaving for some stupid fucking reason that Shiro doesn’t get.

 He watches him leave toward the ship, then catches up, trying to force the explosion of words down his throat.  “What the hell? You’re an amazing pilot! You’re turning your back for no good reason!”

 Adam doesn’t say anything - just looks at Shiro for a very long time, but just doesn’t say anything. After Shiro thinks he might explode from the tension, Adam gives him a shadow of a grin.

 “It’s practically suicide.” His eyes are dark and cool. “Anyone who blows up that fucking ship isn’t coming back. I- I can't do stuff like that. I'm not-”

 Adam sighs and talks again.  “You’re _different,_ you know? In a good way. Not like me.”

 The thing is, Shiro doesn’t know the feeling of being involved in something this massive and intertwined - united against something so terrifying as the Empire. He doesn't know what Adam means by _different -_ and doesn't understand why it matters. He wants to reason with Adam - at the very least to stop the thudding in his chest that is starting to hurt at the possibility of Adam leaving.

 He wants to say - _do you think allura knew her planet was going to be blown up after joining the rebellion? do you think i knew troopers were going to come after the only family i knew? none of us are different or better or more good. you aren't._

 He doesn’t say anything - just swallows. Adam steps a little closer, and Shiro can see all the darker freckles scattered across his skin and the flecks in his eyes  - and leans in for a moment.

 He kisses Shiro. On the cheek. It’s a dry one - nothing behind it, but Shiro’s head has gone completely haywire, and his body refuses to move. His face might be heating up, he thinks - _fuck, is my face heating up?_

 Adam gives him one last smile, almost sweet. “For luck,” he explains, as if that will make anything that is going through Shiro’s head right now make _sense_. He turns away, and Shiro wants to ask him _why_? Shiro steps forward, and opens his mouth but nothing comes out.

 Adam turns again. “And-” he pauses. “May the Force be with you, Takashi.”

 Then he’s turning away from Shiro, turning away from the Rebellion, and now - he might as well being flying away.

  
At some point, Allura’s gripped his hand and is dragging him toward the hangers. “I vouched on your behalf,” she explains, and her eyes sparkle.

 “You’re quite the pilot,” she adds, but when she realizes Shiro’s not listening, her eyebrows clench.

 “Shiro - if you’re not up to it-”

 “No,” he says, because this is _flying_ , flying for a cause that thrums in his chest, right and new and hopeful. Of course he wants to. His shoulders slump a little, and Allura’s face twists in concern. “It’s stupid. I- Adam left.”

 Her jewel-bright eyes widen and she settles a hand on Shiro’s shoulder. “You didn’t tell him to go,” Allura says, soft. “He chose to. We all choose our own paths, Shiro.”

 Shiro looks at her, and wonders if he could tell her - about the feelings in his mind when he thinks of Adam’s smile, and his dark, deep brown eyes, and how it tangles him up and unravels him all at once. He wonders about that kiss.

 He doesn’t say anything, just levels a shaky smile at her. She hesitates for a second - and Shiro feels like crap, because she has lost her home and her family and her planet - everything she held dear, and she’s comforting him about his nonsensical feelings.

 Before he can say he’s sorry, she squeezes him close. It’s brief and hard, but Shiro squeezes her back.

 When they pull back, there are pilots calling, and Allura lets him go. “Stay safe, Shiro.”

 He hopes he can.

  


_(flying is-_

  _flying is hearing the crackling of your commander over the comlink and your heart beating a million miles to infinity. flying is a rush and a thrill and a scream all at the same time - and shiro has flown on tatooine, but nothing ever like this -_

  _flying is hearing vlt-d2 beeping and adjusting controls and coordinates -flying is hearing holt - matt holt over the intercom make corny jokes before saying - ‘yes i am your technical officer for this mission, and no, it’s not a fucking joke-’_

  _flying is-)_

  


They are losing. That is a fact.

 They have made their way to the Death Star, but TIE Fighter ships immediately blocked them, shooting toward them, the blaster fire nearly clipping Shiro’s X-Wing at one point. Smoke pours above him, and he yells, “VLT, can you fix that?” The droid beeps surely above him and Shiro maneuvers his way out of more blaster fire, eyeing the trench.

  _“Black Five,”_ Matt’s voice crackles in, almost worried. _“Were you hit?”_

 “No - not majorly-,” Shiro says, and then winces at the erratic beeping above him. “Yes - but it’s nothing to worry about.” The droid beeps once in conformation and Shiro focuses again on finding the right trench. Then -

  _“This is Black Two,”_ he hears over the comms. _“There is heavy fire from the TIE Fighter Formation, Black Leader-”_

 Shiro is so focused on the comms that he almost doesn't catch the locating system beeping. He glances down and-

 “Black Five,” he comms in, voice shaking. “I’ve found the port. I’m going in.”

Black Leader responds, sounding slightly erratic. _“Copy that, Two, Keep close. Five, tell me when you’re able. Avoid any of the laser fire. We’ll cover you.”_

 “Copy that, Black Leader.” Shiro’s voice is shaking harder, but his hands remain steady on the controls as his gaze goes narrow sharp on the location on his system. He flies - flies- only for the comm to crackle again, this time in hard panic.

  _“Black Squadron.”_ Matt says. _“The TIE Fighters seem to be going into some kind of formation? They-they’re coming from behind!”_

 Shiro’s breath freezes at that, but Black Leader only comms back in. _“Copy that, Holt. The port location has been locked in - we are starting the attack run. Five, take Two and Three with you. Wait for the signal.”_

 Shiro nods, again, and Two and Three comm in and confirm. They fly together, avoiding any blaster fire from the TIE Fighters that have started to attack them from the front, while Shiro tries, again to locate the port. It is a chase - a chase of blasting again and back - Shiro blasts a TIE Fighter that is trying to aim at Black Two, and the edge of his wings are scorched by a near miss.

 Then-

 Black Ten is young, he realizes later - and his voice is frantic. _“I can’t shake them -” I can’t-”_

 Black Leader is yelling - _”Steady, steady - pull up, Ten, up- and -”_

  _“They’re onto me - I can’t shake them-”_

 There is a tinny sound that happens later - a sound, and then Ten doesn’t respond again.

It only sinks into Shiro a moment after and even then, even with the anger that coils into him, there is no time - Black Leader had said he should start the run - so they do. They glide into the trench, with a line of TIE Fighters following them and shooting blaster fire. There is no time - there is nothing but space and fire and Shiro’s hands on the controls-

At some point, Two is hit and has to withdraw and Three-

 Three is nothing but parts scattered across space.

 Shiro is alone. He’s fucking alone and-

  _Let go, Takashi._

 It is Arus’ voice. But Arus is -

  ** _No!_**

 dead.

  _Use the Force._

 Arus is in his head.

 Shiro reaches for the control panel, and switches off the targeting device.

 Matt crackles in. _“Five, what the fuck? You’ve turned off your targeting computer? He’s - no, I don’t know why-”_

 “I’m okay,” Shiro says, and barrels down the trench, breath holding in anticipation, and his hands curl around the controls. Then VLT-D2 is screeching and beeping, and Shiro’s chest constricts, as he comms in, again. “VLT is down!”

 He barrels through the trench, eyeing the port, moving closer- closer, even though there are most definitely TIE Fighters chasing after him, even though he’s probably going to fucking die, and the Empire will overtake the Alliance - the Rebellion. He hasn’t got a droid - he’s got a dead man in his head - he moves the controls closer, pulling in, accelerating, heart beating -

 His X-Wing shakes - just for a moment, with what Shiro recognizes as an explosion. But-

  _“Takashi, you’re clear. Now blow this fucking thing up!”_

There is one moment where Shiro thinks he’s probably dead, or something, because there’s no fucking way-

  _it’s Adam_.

 The port is within his sight- he doesn’t hesitate - he fires, and the two torpedoes go in-

 - _the death star is going to explode_

  _he did it-_

 Matt is screaming over the intercom - _“Oh my god, oh my god - he did it! Fuck the Empire!”_ There is only space and quiet for a moment, then Adam crackles in, voice amazed and awed.

  _“That was- fucking - Takashi, oh my god. That was one in a million.”_

 When Shiro talks again, his voice sounds disused and rough, and his heart is still thumping at a million miles an hour. He makes a sound - maybe it’s a laugh or a sob, or something, but all that he really says is - “Yeah.”

  _“Yeah, you did it. Now let’s go home.”_

 Shiro looks on the locator system again, fingers trembling as he checks for the right coordinates, and for maybe the last time-

  _Remember the Force will be with you, Takashi. Always._

 

Allura is the first person to come when he opens up the cockpit and steps out of the X-Wing. “Shiro!” she says, and runs up and hugs him- hard. Shiro laughs into her ridiculous looking hair, and ducks over to catch Adam’s eyes, sparkling bright as the stars behind his glasses.

 “Adam!” he yells. Adam runs over and wraps his arms around him and Allura - and he smells like singed blaster fire, but he’s - he’s -

 “Thank you,” Shiro says, and he’s crying, what the hell. “Thank you for coming back.” Adam’s face softens and he reaches over and wipes the tears away.

 “I wasn’t going to let you take all the fucking credit, Takashi,” he says, but there isn’t any bite in his voice. There is something warm and fond in his gaze that makes Shiro’s heart thud even harder. At some point Allura has let go, and is looking between them.

 “Stars,” she says, almost exasperatedly, and Shiro is confused by her words. She goes up to Adam and grins.

 “I knew you would not leave us hanging. Not when there is so much more here.” Adam grins back, wraps an arm around her shoulders.

 “To miss the chance to argue with you, princess? No way.”

 They are here - alive - and the Empire for once has been halted in its steps. There is something overwhelming climbing in Shiro’s heart - something that whispers that sense of rightness - the same way the Force and the lightsaber did - the same way Arus’ words did. And the question if whether he is one with the Rebellion is answered. There are so many reasons for all these people to be here- Adam, Allura, Coran, Matt Holt, all the pilots - and for one brief moment, they can say have succeeded.

 But this is a war - not a battle, so there are far more near misses and deaths and missions to come for them - for all of them. They are in stasis, just for a little while.

 Shiro looks at Allura and her strong posture and her unyielding gaze. He looks at Adam’s glasses and his smile _(stars)_ and his dark, deep eyes. It’s only a little while, he thinks, but smiles anyway.

 

A little while is good enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Again, this fic literally came out of my friend and I talking in the middle of gym class. It's not finished yet - but we could basically challenged each other to write an AU story for Voltron in a week. I chose Star Wars, and she chose Marvel - and hers is wonderful, by the way. I'm so glad you read this long fic and can't thank you enough for reading it. Her fic is coming soon and you should check it out when it does. So, again, thank you so much for reading this! 💙


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